Frustration

Once I had emailed Oprah, I decided it would be easier to email local dentists, rather than calling and explaining my situation on the phone. A majority of the time, the actual dentist won't even get on the phone to talk with you.

So I browsed the Internet for local dentists. I was averaging about 3 or 4 a week that I would send my story to. None of them were responding to me. Meanwhile, my mom printed an application for me to submit to a popular tv show, Extreme Makeover. It included pages and pages of information to complete, required a video submission, and undergoing a psychiatric evaluation. The process would have been grueling just to send in everything and HOPE that I would even be considered. I had no video camera either. Even if I were to be selected, I didn't want a complete body overhaul. I'm pleased with everything about me, except my mouth. I didn't need to waste resources for implants or a thigh reduction. Not only that, but I would have had to take a leave of absence from my job for a lengthy period, which I couldn't afford to do.

So I kept emailing random dentists, hoping someone would answer. Finally, that day came in 2005. An office manager from a dentist in a neighboring city responded. The dentist she worked for was intrigued by my email and wanted to meet with me. I will refer to him as D.A.

We set an appointment and I drove to see him. While sitting in the lobby waiting, there was a huge flat screen monitor up on the wall, rotating photos of before and after transformations of his other patients. It was quite impressive to see what D.A. had accomplished with some of those people.

They called me to the back and I sat in a chair. D.A. walked in, smiled at me, and we began discussing my email. D.A. was furious that no other dentist had acted to help me. He said, "With the technology that dentists have access to today, there was no reason why I should be living with a mouth like mine." He had seen a few people with worse conditions than I was in and said it would be so easy to fix my mouth. He told me it would not be an easy road by any means, but if I was committed to the process, he would be too. I said "Absolutely!"

He ordered a panoramic Xray of my mouth and took a look. He said that he would repair my mouth, make dentures, and work to give me a perfect smile and teeth. Not only that, but he was going to do it all free of charge! I cried and thanked him over and over.

We made an appointment for me to come back the following week. My mother went with me, as she wanted to meet him. At that appointment he did a series of tests on my jaws. Over the years, my jaws have worn down because they are not aligned and even. He explained that the way my bottom jaw was attached to my skull, that it was most likely the reason for my recent migraines.

He again expressed his frustration over the lack of care from others in his field. My mom mentioned that we had seen DJ and how much he wanted to even touch me. D.A. laughed and said he knew DJ. He said, "Never trust a man that walks with a limp due to the weight of his wallet." I was surprised to hear D.A. make a statement like that about one of his own colleagues.

D.A. also mentioned to my mom that he belonged to a board of area dentists that review special needs cases. They will discuss cases submitted and pick a few each year to do at no charge. He was going to submit mine to the board. At the time I didn't quite understand why he was going to submit it to the board, since he already said he would be doing it himself. Didn't make much sense, but I didn't question it.

Meanwhile, there is a tooth that has not broke through the gums. It's right under my left nostril, next to my fistula. D.A. did not want to touch it in case it didn't come out as smoothly as it needed. So he said he would send me to a Maxillofacial Surgeon to have it done. The surgeon he recommended was Dr. Gagnon. I was elated, because I knew Dr. Gagnon already! He had pulled some teeth for me at no charge prior to my visit with D.A.

We walked to the desk in D.A.'s office and he told his office manager to call Dr. Gagnon and arrange for me to have that tooth removed. She told my mom and I, that she would schedule the appointment for me, then call to let me know when my appointment would be.

About a week and a half later, I still had not heard from anyone. Mom had asked if I had found out anything about my appointment with Dr. Gagnon. No, not a word yet. The next day, I received a letter in the mail from D.A.'s office. It said that I had neglected to show up for my appointment with Dr. Gagnon, therefore I was obviously not serious about having my mouth repaired. Due to that circumstance, D.A. would no longer be offering his services to me.

My heart sank. I started crying hysterically. I called D.A.'s office immediately and asked to speak to him. The lady on the phone said he was not in. My husband arrived home and I showed him the letter. He picked up the phone and called D.A.'s office. The lady would not let him through to speak to D.A. He asked her to have D.A. return our call. A few hours went by and nothing, so my husband called again. This time the office manager answered. He explained to her that we had received the letter, and we didn't understand it because no one had informed me that an appointment had even been set with Dr. Gagnon yet.

She told my husband that she informed me of my appointment time before we even left the office at my last appointment with D.A. That was completely false! She had not even called Dr. Gagnon while we were there! She told my mother and I both, that she would call later and let me know. Now she's telling a different story. So again, he asked to speak with D.A. as he wanted to make sure D.A. was aware that I did not skip my appointment, but rather didn't even know one had been scheduled yet.

After he was done speaking with her, I called Dr. Gagnon's office to see if there truly had been appointment made for me. Indeed there had been, it was 4 days prior to receiving the letter. I asked why no one from Dr. Gagnon's office had called to tell me that I had an appointment, and she informed me that D.A.'s office should have called me. D.A's office was saying that Dr. Gagnon's office was responsible for contacting me, yet the manager was also saying she had already told me. So which was what?

We called D.A.'s office again to inquire about why no one had called me to even ask me why I missed the appointment with Dr. Gagnon. D.A. got on the phone and spoke to my husband. He immediately told my husband that he was harassing and threatening his staff and if he called his office again, he would call the police. What on earth is going on??? My husband did not threaten anyone! Nor was he harassing anyone! He was trying to find out what happened, explain to D.A. it was all a miscommunication, and beg him not to back out on me now.

I told my husband to let it go. It wasn't worth having the police get involved, and if a doctor is going to throw out statements like that over something that his staff lied about, I didn't want him working on me anyway.

We talked to friends and family about the situation. My mom conferred that NO ONE had set an appointment for me with Dr. Gagnon while we were at D.A.'s office. The only thing we could rationalize from the whole situation was that perhaps D.A. realized what a complicated procedure he committed himself to, the costs he was going to endure, and the money he would lose from paying patients while working on me. I had campaigned for help for over three years, so why would I blow this opportunity? What other explanation could there be?

I was destroyed after that. I thought, this is it, I'll never get a new mouth. I let it go for awhile, but my teeth were getting worse. By the 4th year, I still couldn't find a dentist to do fillings or root canals. No one wanted to be involved, but I had to keep fighting for myself.....so the emails kept going out. Would anyone else respond again? Find out soon......